One of my readers recently posted about how for her, this is often a season of sadness. She closed by asking her readers if any of them also felt that way.
I started a reply over there, but had to pause before I could send it in. It continued to percolate in the back recesses of my brain – as ideas often do.
Her post, and the comments of many that followed, reminded me of the original purpose of this holiday season.
No, not the baby Jesus, he was born in the spring.
Nor is it Hanukkah – the Jewish festival of lights that is being (or this year just finished being) celebrated, or Kwanzaa a relatively new winter holiday
8 nights of light
The holidays that we celebrate now are all based on much, much older celebrations.
And they all tie in to this idea of sadness and loss that so many of us feel.
Us northerners are in the darkest days of the year. It is cold. The sun is gone. Getting up sucks and we spend all day dreaming about the moment we can crawl back into our beds and warm them up again.
It’s a season for fires and books and whiskey. All the whiskey.
Winter Survival
And it’s a season for family and friends and connecting.
So for those of us who have lost people close to us, we tend to mourn those missing pieces of light, as if they too have gone the way of the warmth and the sunshine.
They are strongly present in their absence.
Perhaps it is no coincidence that this season begins with festivals of death – The Day of the Dead, Halloween, Reaping festivals…
Lanterns of light for the dead
But then come the holidays.
Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, the New Year.
There is a reason all of those holidays happen when they do.
The solstice.
It’s the culmination – a final symbolic death, there on the darkest day of the northern year. But it’s also a reminder that the light is coming back. It’s a victorious call to arms – we have survived the worst of it – it only gets better, warmer, brighter from here.
Lighting the path through winter
It’s a reminder, we are strong and we will survive – This winter too shall pass.
So, if you’re feeling down – and if you’re feeling guilty or glum about feeling down – relax. It’s okay.
This is the season for hibernation, for reflection, for burrowing in.
It’s also the season for renewing friendships, for pulling family in close, for sharing stories and laughter – and light.
The sun has forsaken us for these few months, and so it is up to us to create the light.
That is what these holidays – all of these holidays – celebrate – the light and the warmth that we can create and share with one another.
Share your warmth and your light
If you’re feeling down, or alone – and you don’t want to – reach out. We are here.
And there’s a spot by the fire waiting, just for you.
But if you kind of like that alone feeling, that time to curl up and just be – take it, own it – let it be your gift.
Nurture your light in whatever way works best for you and sees you through this cold dark heart of winter.
And remember, all the darkness in the world cannot put out the light of one small candle.
You are the light of the world.
Happy Holidays – however you choose to celebrate them.
What a beautiful response to my post. Thank you for this. I’ve had candles burning a lot lately. Sunday evening I will be lighting my first Yarhtzeit candle ever, in memory of my father. Another light that shines to remind us of those gone as well as of the brightness that still lives.
Yes, it’s a good season for finding ways to add the light of loved ones back into the world.
Sending warmth, love and light your way.
Oh, thank you! I needed that, and I’m going to print it and tape it up somewhere so that I can see it at least once a day. I’ve been extremely depressed about family members and friends who are gone forever. The rest of us are scattered all over the country so that it’s become impossible (too expensive) to gather together, enjoy each other’s company, and share warm memories of our “absent loved ones.”
I light candles all year round because I just like them, especially scented ones. I should make a display and name each candle for someone who is no longer here…starting with Dad and Mom, and all the aunts and uncles we used to celebrate the holidays with. (Whew! With so many candles, I’m liable to set the house on fire!)
Heh! I just had an idea…small votives or tea lights for all the pets who have loved me through the years, starting with Angela, the white cat who sometimes “shared” my crib when mother wasn’t looking.
I wish you and your readers and fellow bloggers a holiday season of warmth and love, and may those feelings carry over to the New Year.
Peace.
Felaine
Love and light to you as well.
Nice post, baby. Love, Mama
Thanks. Xoxo
I loved this…….really loved it.
Thanks. Glad it touched you.
Everything you say so beautifully is true. Living in Cleveland is a challenge because in addition to the shorter daylight hours, there are mostly cloudy days to contend with from November through February. They say there is comfort in knowing others are experiencing the same things and I guess to some extent that is true. I’m certainly not unique. By the end of January we will see noticeably more light! I’ll hang onto that for now. May the darker days be good to all of you!
Ah, yes – We spent 7 winters in Oregon – dark and cloudy and grey and wet.
At least here in Colorado I can send my kids out to play in the snow. In Oregon, it was more like, “Go play in the mud.”
Light and Love to you
One thing I detest is the extension of Daylight Savings into November. I’m no longer working and a slave to the clock, but waking up at 7AM and finding it still dark outside is just unnatural. (It begins too early in the year, too.)
Nobody has EVER been able to explain to me just what we are “saving” daylight FOR, or how adjusting our clocks and bodies twice a year benefits anyone..
Maybe I’ll start a petition….
That’s why they got rid of Daylight Savings in Arizona – enough people got annoyed and changed it up!
You’ve said everything I would say… except:
we accept the sadness we want, we cling to it sometimes, and wear it like a badge. Is this so we can be treated gently? If so, just ask! When people don’t know, they can many times be churlish.
If we all treat everyone like we would prefer being treated, there would be no reason to feel down or alone. Reach out. And if someone reaches out to you, accept that kindness as it’s offered!
Many times I think of dogs, especially my dogs😀 A dog enters a room; what does she do? She checks everyone out, and greets everyone with joy. She doesn’t judge the hairstyle, or clothing, or even status. (except maybe if you’re a child, or pregnant😀 )… And if you are sad or crying, she immediately attempts to cheer you up.
Let us be more like dogs, shall we?
“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.”
― Charles de Gaulle
(This comment has been attributed to many people, including Mark Twain and Robert Benchley. Therefore, it must be true, no matter who said it first.)
I have had cats who tried to comfort me with purrs and head-bonks when I was feeling down; some even licked the tears off my face. They may have just liked the taste of salt, but it made me feel better anyway.
Totally. The pets definitely have it going on.
As my husband says, “Please, let me be the person my dog thinks I am!”
That was a lovely reminder. As I sit here in my own pitty party dreaming of the carribean, I know I am not alone and the sun will return.
Here’s to whiskey, here’s to friends and family. Here’s to cranking the heat up to 85, putting my bikini on and sitting in front of the fireplace. I think maybe I can just hear the waves and the rustle of palms. Cheers!
LOL! Love the idea of cranking up the fire and having a bikini party around it.
I feel a mai tai coming on!
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